Sticks and Stones
Done
Monster
Eaten Alive
Puppetmaster
Paranoia
Rest in Peace
Emotional Flatline
No More

Sticks and Stones

The world seems silent, screaming deep inside
Presenting tranquility, but only on the outside
The lie from childhood, ingrained so deep inside
That words are harmless ’cause they don’t wound on the outside

Here to cut me down again—sink your words in deeper
Here to take my will again—stab your words in harder

Your words are far, far worse than sticks and stones could ever be
The nursery rhyme has lied once again
I’ve tried so hard to understand, but I only realize time and time again
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will cut me deeper

They still deny it—”there’s nothing deep inside”
They only listen to evidence on the outside in blood

Here to break me down again—sink your words in deeper
Here to tear me down again—stab your words in harder

Your words are far, far worse…

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will cut me deeper”

Sticks and stones might break or save my bones
Words might prevent my harming
Or make it worse when it comes

Your words are far, far worse…

“Sticks and stones may break my bones
But words will never harm me” / But words can kill me

Done

I laugh, I smile, I put up a front
I play my part of convenient tool
But all that time has shown me is that
I’m on my own, a two-legged stool

Everything that I’ve done for you, I expect in return
But look where I’ve landed

I’m in over my head
Nothing I say or do will make you rescue me
I can’t fight the fear that you’ve never noticed
Everything I’ve done for you that you have never done for me

I cannot hide my mask from myself
I give, you take—just our relationship
But all that I have gotten is nothing
I hate how my life is a burning-down ship

Everything that I’ve done…

I’m in over my head…

Use me, confuse me; I’ll take all you say with caution
My best defense against you
Love me, ignore me—to you, everything’s just words
I’ve done my duty, though you have never done yours

I’m in over my head…

Monster

I don’t know what you see, but I know that it’s all wrong
I am not the thing hiding under your bed
Waiting to strike and steal all you love

You see me as something else—something that isn’t me
I don’t understand how it could have come to this

What you assume is not all there is
Because there’s so much more in one life
The different and strange are perceived as something wrong
I don’t want to spend my life locked up as a monster

See through this mask of my failures
And see the good intentions underneath
I can clearly see you’re blind to the truth—take off the blindfold

The constant condemnation of those outside our own
Multiplies the fear that leads to hate and worse

What you assume…

Oh, I’m not a monster

“What is a monster? A monster is a creature willfully bent on destruction, but we so often use this term to describe someone who doesn’t fit into the tidy little box of another’s expectations. This lack of conformity makes them ‘other’, and this ‘otherness’ is so terrifying that some people, in order to preserve their worldview, dehumanize them with the label ‘monster’. Now that humanity has been stripped away, people feel justified in shunning and doing worse to these so-called ‘monsters’ for the crime of being different and not understood, which must equate to being inherently evil. But no two people are the same—in nationality, culture, appearance, language, belief—so what spares you from being someone else’s monster?”

What you assume…

Oh, no

Eaten Alive

What do I need to do to make you hear me?
Why does everything you say cut right through me?
Why does your magnifying glass cut me open?
Why can’t we talk without me reading into everything you say?

You can rip my heart out (off of my sleeve)
Taking me down (through the rock bottom)
Nothing will ever hurt me worse

Than being eaten alive
Devoured by your selfish hatred
Clawing at my soul
Trying to destroy me completely

Why does any glance from you empty my insides?
Why do my thoughts have to be censored to conform to what you think?

You can rip my heart out…

Than being eaten alive…

Let me be free
(Acid is destroying my lungs; can’t believe I thought I knew you once)
Or rest in peace
(Empty words won’t make this better; feels like I’ve been letting go forever)

Have you ever tried being eaten alive?
Have you ever felt the pain burning up inside?
Have you ever tried being eaten alive?
Have you never heard that what’s died can never be revived?
Have you ever tried being eaten alive?
Have you ever felt the pain screaming from me inside you?
Have you ever tried being eaten alive?
Have you never heard that any fate can better be survived

Than being eaten alive…

Empty words won’t make this better; feels like I’ve been letting go forever

Puppetmaster

Standing, hiding in the dark; keeping to the shadows
Knowing that sometime soon, control will slip away
Trying to stay within myself—not giving up this time
I hate the things that I do when I’m not myself

I control you

(Puppetmaster…)
You pull the strings, control me
You awaken the fear and the evil in me
Now I realize inside that you are my Puppetmaster

Stay awake, stay alive—don’t get lethargic now
Somehow I must break free from this curse of mine
Must wrest control away and make sure that what’s in my head is mine
And lock this thing away, far away—get away from me

I control you

(Puppetmaster…)
You pull the strings…

I control your every move
I make you do what I want you to
I unleash your fear inside
I’m hiding there inside your mind
I beat you down, make you feel weak
I am the thing that haunts your sleep
I drink you dry; I make you cry
I am your Puppetmaster

(Puppetmaster…)
You pull the strings…

Paranoia

Don’t glance behind—try not to look back
Don’t embrace the silence
See through the lies, only breathe once dead
Tell the truth to save yourself and no one else

Rest but never sleep—nightmares never die
Keep one step ahead of everyone

I tell you I’m fine, but I’m not okay
And I’m wasting my life as I’m wasting away

(Paranoia…)
Watch my back, feed my fear, as I am running away
Screaming for help on my own—won’t let you know I’m afraid

Build up the walls, put on the mask
Hide the heartbeats that never slow down

Can’t face my fear as it crawls up behind
And I’m losing myself as I’m losing my mind

(Paranoia…)
Watch my back…
I can’t give into it
As I’m crawling to my fate

Chase me down, scream out my lungs
I know you want to; I know you’re waiting
I know you’ll come for me, faceless creature, nameless face
I can’t hide anymore

Wake up, wake up, breathe in and wake up
Stand up, get up—break out of this fear

No longer is anything trapped inside
And I’m fearing the world as I’m fearing my mind

(Paranoia…)
Watch my back…
I can’t give into it…

Rest in Peace

I walk to you alone, needing escape from my fears
My hands caress your stone, my knees wet from grass’s tears

Only I break silence as I try hard not to cry
A world filled with violence, pain enough to make us die

I only pray for release
Pray for you to rest in peace
I hope for a brighter day
Hope for the pain to stay away

I look, then, up above and see dark clouds are banding
I need a little love; I need some understanding

Only I break silence…

I only pray for release…

We will stay together forever here
Stay here forever ’til skies are clear
We will stay together until I’m free
Stay here forever and evermore

I only pray for release…

Pray for release to rest in peace
Hope for a day, pain to stay away

Emotional Flatline

Why do my emotions run dry?
Why do I need to feel to get by?
What makes my lack of emotion an issue?
What makes you think I’ll recover?

I feel nothing

I’m not really alive
This is all just a phase—I won’t be fine

I feel nothing

Stone wall emotion
I can’t make myself feel again
I hear my heart slowly stop beating
Emotional flatline

Did you think I couldn’t feel?
That lie turned into truth so real
Too much for my mind to handle
My heart never understood

I feel nothing

Stone wall emotion…

Sometimes I need to cry, but the tears won’t come out
Sometimes I need an emotion not to come out

Once a time of dreaming
Now a time of grieving

Kill my heart, flesh turned stone; dying art, must atone

Sometimes I need to fly, but my wings stay furled
Sometimes I need not to feel, but I feel the whole world

Once a time of dreaming…

Kill my art, must atone; dying heart, flesh turned stone

I feel nothing

Stone wall emotion…

Once a time of dreaming…

(Kill my heart… / Kill my art…)
Stone wall emotion…

Kill my heart…
Kill my art…

No More

What is going on?
Nothing makes sense anymore
Losing all sense of time
Heat of cold cuts me through the core

Never made sense to misunderstand
Never had the idea I could feel so lost in a lovely place
Where nothing ever feels good

I’m screaming out, but the world’s still silent
Don’t have any idea of a hint of sound
Hating the crush and the ebb and the flow of tide
Pulling me out to sea before drowning
Accidents are part of the cure, I think I know
But the words get mixed up when I try to voice them
Still can’t hear a word or make a sound
Emotions build up to an overflow, staying pent

Up in the high ground
Can’t feel the fear of falling
Persuasion fells the hardest heart
Chill of passion joins feet and sound

Never hurt when feeling pain
Never had the idea it could heal while it renders soul
Thanks-for-nothings like a glass of wood

I’m screaming out…

Evermore flying down in flames
Evermore dying up through the ashes

No more feel the sea, no more feel the air
No more feel the pain, no more feel the longing
No more feel the triumph, no more feel the hate
No more feel the anger, no more feeling nothing

I’m screaming out…

No more